Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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