Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
