I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
