yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
