Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize