Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
