I will die if light touches me.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize