how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
