she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize