i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
