Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
