you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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