Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
