are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
