She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
