I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
