Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
