maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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