I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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