Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
