Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
