I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
