so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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