I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
