So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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