Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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