We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
