LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
