woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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