i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
