u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
