what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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