what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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