Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
