omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
