Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
