So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
