Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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