U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
