So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Enjoy the penises
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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