i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
