Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dignity is for republicans.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
