So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
