you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
