Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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