I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
