i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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