Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize