PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need moral support for this bender
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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