That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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