hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
