party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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