hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
