from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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