So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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