Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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