I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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