why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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