I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
