you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
