Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
